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Why does it feel like I'm flailing about and not getting anywhere. I'm still in a rut, unfortunately and I haven't a clue what to do about it. I need to find a job. Not just any job but the perfect job. Is there such a thing? I'm hesitant to do anything or to go anywhere because I don't know what I'm good at. I don't know what I want --well, I want to sing and create music but will that ever happen? Will I wake up one day and say, why didn't I become one? How exactly does one become a musician? Yes, I know you have to work on the craft but when you are proficient enough (though there are some out there I would not categorize as good musicians at all) and you have a style and sound of your own, then what? Do you just go and create your own EP, send it out to labels and cross your fingers someone would bite? Do you go about going to various local areas and hunt for gigs? Maybe you do it all, then what? Would that guarantee a career in music? I'm guessing the answer is no. It's a long shot at best but trying is the only thing that would make not a "what if" situation. So I'm holding up my bottle of water in hopes that I would find that path and the people who would guide me along that career. In the meantime, what do I do?

That's the clincher right now. I have to find a suitable career that I would at least be happy in. I can't think of it as a temporary situation but a pseudo permanent one just in case my big break comes. I still want to be a successful something, if not a musician.

Anyway, coldness is seeping around us now-a-days. I'm usually the person who LOVES the cold but for some reason, I'm not liking it. Maybe its a temporary setback to my usually arms open to any weather attitude. Or perhaps it has something to do with not having a job...who knows? But the arctic tundra is coming and apparently the winter would be a harsh one because of El Nino. Snow is great....only if we get off and get to play in the snow. I'm not sure how I survived living in the Philippines having only two seasons --Summer and Rainy. I had no winter, spring, or fall. Thus the song by James Taylor having used all the seasons in "You've got a Friend" was a little foreign. Ok, I'm kidding but you know what I was getting at. But I never saw snow until I was 16 and I loved it. Granted people in the DC area drive like old fogies when we have dustings but it's great anyway. Though I have to say, too much of it can get old. I was stuck once in Minnesota during a snow storm and I was not able to leave the house for a week. I had cabin fever and I never knew what that was until that day. Oh, it was awful. But it was the first time I had experienced having snow go up all the way to the top of the house and the next few days, my sister had to hire someone to take the snow off the roof before it hardens and causes a collapse of the roof. Mind boggling to me at that time. I didn't realize that it can happen...I figured as we learned in 4th grade reading today (I volunteered to teach at the local elementary school) is a fantasy. Though in fact, it is a realistic event. Oh well. . .

Speaking of LOVES, I wonder when I would fall in love. I was watching "Down with Love" this afternoon on HBO and it amazes me how it gives me tingles when two characters in the movie actually fall for each other. Will I be all tingley all over when it ever happens to me? Again the question is: When would this be? Oh, I would be patient as usual but I can only stretch that for so long. But I really can't do anything about it if I haven't found the right man for the job. So the position is still vacant, for anyone who wants to apply, please submit your resume on the link below.

Anyway, the job hunting is still going. Hope I get one soon. Pray for me peeps. But I'm being patient as usual. Keep on Keepin' on.