the challenge

As you all know, I am very active at my church and a big chunk of my Free time is spent volunteering. This past weekend was no exception ... it was the confirmation retreat.

If you know anything about retreats, its a weekend full of discovery, prayer, self-introspection, lack of sleep, and lots of fun. This past weekend was packed full of everything and did not fall short of all of the above.

You learn so much about people then in turn, you learn so much about yourself. What is it about hearing other peoples' stories that make you turn inwards and become introspective? There's a realization that often happens, at least it does with me. We often challenge the participants --young and old to do something and carry the wisdom and knowledge learned through the weekend into our daily lives. One such challenge was to be Christ to someone else. It's not at all that easy. Most of the time, the task is going beyond your comfort zone and letting go of fear, anxiety, and doubt all to be that candle of Faith for someone other than yourself.

My challenge was to forgive someone --fw to be more specific. I'm not sure why exactly when asked to do this that his name would pop into my consciousness. Most people would probably disagree with my forgiving him. Arlene in fact said that sometimes things are better left alone. Maybe so. I think part of the reason is quite selfish, to be honest. He's great friends with my new found good friends and that it is inevitable that we will meet again ... revolving around the same circle of people and all. Beyond that though, despite his actions and the gunk that he's gone through (broken engagement, and a former girlfriend passing away), I felt that he is in need of some light.

I guess my reaching out to him as that friendly being, if he needs it, is there for him. Here's what I wrote:

Hi there fw --

I bet I'm the last person who you would expect to receive an e-mail from. I've have been thinking about reaching out to you ever since I've heard that you've called off your engagement ... actually, when I found out that Alicia passed away. I guess first of all, I wanted to apologize for not congratulating you then, you weren't exactly my favorite person ... but now, I just want to be a friend. Not because I feels sorry for you but out of compassion, instead. I've hesitated for so long thinking you might misconstrue my intent. But having just came from a Church retreat, I'm convinced that the least I could do, is be the unlikely person to lend a hand. A song by Chris Rice titled, "Life Means So Much" encourages and affirms my soul that despite the hurt of the past between you and I, there is no reason why I should not try and mend things and start afresh. Here's a part of the song ...

Teach us to count the days
Teach us to make the days count
Lead us in better ways,
Cause somehow our souls forgot

So how are you gonna spend?
Will you invest or squander?
Try to get ahead or help someone whose under?
Has anybody who knew the value of a life
and don't you think giving His all would prove the worth of yours and mine?

Everyday is a gift you've been given
Make the most of the time, Every minute your living

I won't even pretend to know what you're feeling or going through. However, I can imagine how it feels and how devastated I would be if I were to be in your shoes. I can only offer you a sympathetic ear and this passage. Take them, as well as this letter, however you please. I do pray, at the very least, it would help in your healing and assist in your search for life's meaning.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (James 1:2-4)

your friend,

I'm only hoping that he doesn't see this as an attempt to start something but just a genuine gesture of friendship and forgiveness. Arlene says that it's not a bad letter ... that it came from the heart. And it did. It also came from a place of hurt and uncertainty but trusting that God has a plan.

Let's hope and pray that others who attended the retreat stepped up to the challenge. It was hard. I did it the day I got back from retreat. I knew that if I didn't, I wouldn't have done it otherwise. One small step ... is this the right way to be Christ-like?