eventually ... it will happen

I moved into my condo, yes- I'm now a home owner, on the first of February. Yep, it IS a wonderful feeling having your own place. Living alone and not having to have anyone tell you what to do (which my parents still did). What I didn't expect is the loneliness. Sure, I was warned that it will be. I kinda sorta prepared for it. But how can you really prepare for loneliness? How can you prepare for liking someone and they not liking you enough to choose you, even though you know deep down, it's not really the right thing? Or is it really right but you decide to make yourself think that it isn't?

Sure the quietness can be changed by watching TV or preoccupy yourself by playing on the Internet. But its not the same as having someone right there. That human interaction. That the loneliness can be stilled by going out and doing oh-so-many things. That your self worth suffers a blow when someone thinks you're not good enough, for whatever reason. Because in that not knowing the reason makes the ache resonate more. Deep down, you know, that you need others. That in secret you wish your parents are still next door. That the guy you like is just a phone call away.

The reality is not that. I just need to suck it in and keep on living. I'll get used to my new surroundings. I'll eventually find the right man. In the meantime, I'll do the things I love to do and wait patiently for the rest to fall in.