woe is me

I've been told so many times that when you are least expecting it, someone would come along and surprise you. Someone did come along and yes, he did surprise me. But nothing happened of it. He seemed to be in this decision making mode. "Should I date her, should I not?" The problem of this "pause" is that, he's already expressed interest and then suddenly withdrew it. Why didn't he think about things prior to initiating anything? I ponder this and like I've said on earlier blogs, it might be because of me. But I haven't a clue on the reasoning. I never really had a decent conversation with him. Its more joking around if anything. Which is fine for an acquaintance or a new friend. But not if you intend to go beyond that realm. He's hesitating due to some "small items" that he care not share with me at the time he brought it up. I questioned him, like a teenager questions their parents when they don't understand or just plainly disagree. With this instance, its more about the lack of understanding due to the fact that our communication has dwindled to nothing but a cordial "hello" as we pass each other. Or maybe not dwindled, its more like it has stayed the same. Maybe it's more pleasant than that, or a bit more involved but it's just might as well have been just an exchange of pleasantness.

But I digress . . .

He did state that he maybe wants to me more than a friend, sooner or later. Though right now its not something he wants, though wouldn't want to pass it. It irks me that he's admitted that. I should, if I were your typical high school girl, I'd be blushing about the thought. "...ooh, he likes me!" and proceed to tell my friends and yell. If you think I'd be that girl ... um, blech! I have more pride than that. That particular exchange just made me realize that he is stringing me on. That he expects me to wait and be googly eyed about the prospect of a relationship. A part of me, I have to admit may have thought that. But the logical side of me just says to let it be and let it go. To preserve self dignity, the latter would be a more fitting decision.

Not that I'm closing the door. I'm just keeping it slightly open so as not to close any possibilities. But it doesn't preclude me from looking elsewhere and finding someone else, while he's contemplating on what he wants.

I wonder what he's pondering about? I somehow touched a nerve when I teasingly said he was a player. I guess no one wants to be called that, but I tease my guy friends that all the time and this is the first time I've had a bad reaction to it. He questioned me and stated that if that is what I think of him, then I don't really know him at all. And YES, I really DON'T know him. Does he think I'll get to know him by osmosis? Frankly, that's a big leap. I can insinuate, though probably unfair for me to do so.

Anyway, that's it for my relationship woe. Hopefully, no more of this would have to come up. I would definitely not initiate anything. If he wants to talk, then he would have to strike the conversation first. I'll stick to pleasantries and occasional comment here and there. Basically, stick how it has been.

I'm hoping this will be my last gripe about this subject. If I were to blog anymore about this, I would have to have to go to Jason's house so I can be bitch-slapped. Hahaha! Anyway, if he only knew the value he's be losing if he misses this chance . . .