Its Hump Day!

Today is Wednesday and for most people, its what we call Hump Day! Funny yes. I guess its part of the way to make you through your week. Something funny. Something to look forward to, perhaps? (those lucky enough .... ha!) It's the middle of the week and you look forward to the coming weekend. This week is shorter having MLK day on Monday and then inauguration day tomorrow, for which I will be working from home. Hump Day then isn't necessary but I'm still marking it's purpose for discussions' sake.

Las weekend, I went to the St. Rose confirmation retreat. For those non-catholics, confirmation is comparable to the bar mitzvah for the Jewish faith. Anyway, I've talked about these events before and I just want to say that they are awesome! I learn so much from the kids and it helps me with my own faith's journey.

Speaking of journey, I really am struggling to find out what it is I really want to do with my life. If I am to compare myself to my colleagues at work, well --I'm just not finding anything that excites me. Somehow, they have found the silver lining...where something they actually like can be seen through the crap they're working on now. Me? Well, I just do things expected of me. I do it well, ... some of it anyway and others' I float on by. None of which I'm eager to do. Is that bad? I mean, most of us have to work on things that we are not fond of. I guess the difference is that we ought to find something within our jobs that we like to do. It can't be 100% wonderful...that's just not realistic. But the question is begging to be asked. What is it that would make me happy? I dunno. Will I find it at my current job? Maybe. Career in music perhaps? maybe. The thing is, we are all taught to pursue a dream. A goal. The perfect world. Most of us would imagine a world where money is not a problem. No need to run yourself down to the ground to earn it either. Just an easy life. Don't get me wrong...my life as of now is not bad. I just wish something better. Is that selfish of me? Maybe. Yeah. But that's another thing we are taught ... the American Dream....the pursuit of something bigger and better. Why do you think Martha Stewart would risk jail time for a mere 43 grand when she is earning millions already? Greed. So am I being greedy and selfish for wanting better for myself? Perhaps. The thing that makes a difference besides how we get to the dream, I think is WHAT we do once we get there. When we've gained the money, the power, the prestige ... what's next? If we do some self-inspection, are we the person we want to be with the earthly wealth we sought after? Case in point: Matthew Broderick -- he is a very talented actor. Yet as he achieved the ultimate goal of stardom for that career, he found himself trapped into the cycle of drugs and booze. Yes, it can happen to anyone at any career but with the constant flow and readily available controlled substances, not to mention FREE, can you see where a person not prepared for these can easily be doped? He reached the goal and lost it quicker than getting there. How much of a sham is that? We are let down by this so called American Dream. It's more a nightmare if you did not take into account what you do when you get there. No one gives you this invaluable advice: What do you when you get there? The Then What question?

Anyway, I'm heading towards that hump day, where I ought to choose a direction and the battle less fierce than before. Yet its far enough that I can't see it. I'm in the verge of a revelation and I ought to prepare myself for that ultimate unveiling....the person I ought to become. Of course, we never seize to change, to evolve, to search. But somewhere in the middle of the road, I ought to find the sign that would say..."this way to your dreams" ....whatever that maybe. If music ought to be my life, I'm brining it back slower than I would like it. But I'd rather go a tad slower and enjoy my trek towards that ever coveted "dream."

Maybe that's what life is about. Not to reach the dream...but the struggle and the road to get there is what's important. Hump day today....maybe for the week but I'm only a quarter of the way towards the hump day of life. So here's to finding a roadmap.

as promised...a poem!

The dawn of tomorrow is what we seek
Orange and yellow and the red peeks
The sky so beautiful as the dawn arrives
Giving birth to a new day in our lives

The sorrows melt as the sun's rays strike
The roads illuminated for a better sight
Puddles of mud scattered everywhere
From the blasted rain that hindered our path last night

Fallen trees and debris scattered about
Planting seeds of doubt
The trek off of the beaten path
Surrounded by the chaotic aftermath

A tap on the shoulder I got
I turned around and found a friend to chat
We navigated through the war stricken road
To nowhere it leads and to nowhere I let my thoughts unfold

The friendly face was a welcome surprise
The salvation needed, the answer to cries
Hands clasp to guide each other
To help cross the obstacles and increase the chances for the better

We walk on
We forge on
We trudge along

We say our goodbyes after passing the now old obstacles
Alone again as I journey through
To that one destination I ought to know
Along the way, I'll find another you
The welcomed companion to the truth