oh so tired

it seems when i do not work out, i get mad mad mad tired. or is it the repercussions of not sleeping much when i was visiting cali. so my opinion still stands. i hate LA. but i do not hate all of california. love the bay area, love san diego. sad thing is, there was no time to visit any of those rad places. oh well. 'til the next time. i can see myself going out there more often now that i'm getting closer to my relatives there....free home when i go visit...always makes for a great vacation.

so my obsession was kicking in full gear today. i'm usually not this bad....anyway, was reading away newspaper clippings on the mraz site. i find it fascinating how fast he zoomed and grew. hmmm, then it made me think. am i talented enough to get through this? of course, i'm not going to leave my job. i have lots to lose. i also have a lot of learning to do. on the side is the next best thing....for now. i just heard an interview on the radio with bonnie hunt. her story is that she was an oncology nurse who does comedy on the side in the city of chicago. one of her patients made her promise that she'd try out LA and try to make it big and to push aside fear. when the guy died, she gave her 2 weeks notice and up and left for cali. and here she is. all successful. now, that's just awesome!

i want a story like that.

"i was inspired by so and so. to pursue music in my life. see where it goes. and here i am. the road took me here and i did not even think it would. thanks to so and so, i'm doing something i love doing. and i've overcome fears phobias only because i love music so much."


deep within i looked for stories
of lives
of memories
of home and inspirations

what lies beneath the surface showed
the beauty
the ugly
the inbetween
no duty holds nor barr's the scene
as it projected the stories that lies within

it told of lost love and romance forgotten
of dreams attained and those forsaken
of triumphs, of victories, of failures...exhausted
of mispent youth and of strolls in the park
of first kisses, of first love ...
all flickered on the screen projected above

life lived full of emotion
hoping that i will not see any leaf unturned
no remorse, no what if's lingering
in the stories i looked for within