Love. Help. Care. Hope.

For our generation, the events of today, five years past will forever be etched into our hearts, minds, and being just as JFK's assassination made its mark on the generation preceding ours. We would probably remember the most minute detail of that day without even making any effort.

Half of me, however would like to forget that forsaken day. I would like to forget the stench of death, the feeling of dread and anxiety, and the crisis of Faith I went through, and won't doubt many others as well. Is it normal to feel that way? I don't know. Perhaps as most people would say, we live and learn.

What DID we learn about ourselves, our community, country, and the world? I learned that I am capable of being compassionate and would easily forgo my own needs for others. Yet selfish all at the same time, when I was tending to unknown faces concerns and wailing, I was thinking of my own. Listing at the back of my head all those I know who live in NYC or those who have family there. While I frantically dial a person's number from my cell, I held close someone else's hand for comfort. Honestly, I held on not just to comfort them but to comfort myself as well.

We learn to cope. We learn to live with the tragedy. We learn. Learning however, is not enough. It is how we put to use the knowledge and wisdom learned that is important. Some may be able to grow but others, the very event may stunt that growth or even set them back a few paces. Many may have to go through the dance of moving back and forth in its application. And so we move on.

It saddens me that in so many aspects of our lives lessons learned ends up to be a mere blur in our minds and not put into the forefront for the future. Yes, grief goes on. How does one celebrate such a tragedy? Seeing if the death of so many others was worth anything at all? Maybe uniting a divided country? Unfortunately, our country is still divided. More so than prior to this day five years ago. However, in my quest to find the silverlining, I zoom further down from the whole, into the individual. A life taken for a life or two saved. Now THAT in my opinion is the silverlining. No, it's no consolation but at least lives lost were not for naught if we look within rather than without. Else find yourself discouraged by the lack of good faith in a governmental system that seems to only thrive in being reactive. Masking actions gone awry with good intentions. I'm all for backing up our leaders. But there is gotta be a point where we have to admit mistakes and move on to the next plan.

September 11th, we didn't just lose lives in those horrible plane crashes. We ought to extend our gaze from what stemmed out of it. More lives lost. More innocent lives lost. No one has won. We all lose. Again, the silverlining however, is that at some brief moment we were united and many people learned from the tragedy and grow as a person. I'd hate to turn my back from the country. But I have to concentrate on things I can affect and put to use what I have learned. Love. Love and never hold it back. Help. Care. Hope.