sensing clueless . . . =\

Often enough, or should I say, most of the time, I'm very good at sensing things about people, situations, environment. A slight shift in . . . err . . something, aura perhaps, is enough for me to pick up on and sense. A change in facial expression, body movement, gestures, voice or even if I can't see it, a slight change in demeanor whether it be on the phone or behind me, I can sense. Pretty weird stuff.

I find myself sometimes wondering if I should voice out the sudden change in anything --I guess over time, I've realized not all of it should be called out and identified. A simple look at someone is enough to communicate an understanding and perhaps to table the ... change ... for some other better opportune time.

I can't say that I have a good sense about how men perceive me, for example. Maybe I've blocked that part of my empathic abilities. I'm clueless unless blatantly obvious? Why is that?

I've gotten myself in so much trouble in oh so many times in the past having no good radar about this matter. One example was this creepy old, married guy ... expecting something one day and I was floored. I had NO IDEA! I was just being my friendly self and BAM! There it is. I kept the creepy man's number on my phone for a good 4 months after he left the program to make sure that if he calls ... I'll know not to answer it.

Bad thing about not knowing is if I AM interested in a guy. What now? What is it that I do that gives off this, "I'm available" to all men ... and I can't seem to be able to turn it off and turn away creepy, old, married men? How do I tell this perfectly great guy (as far as I know, anyway) that yes, I am interested in you and not the bugger over there? =|

Maybe I'm lacking in this ability because I don't believe that any great guy would be interested? That I'm not good enough? Maybe its my inexperience-ness in dating --having none to speak of ... ha! Do you like my psycho analysis of myself? Not really. I hate it when I get into these thoughts.

Anyway, little clueless that I am ... I hope I don't miss out on a great guy because I'm not sending the "right signals" and sense that there's some interest there. Argh!

Clueless...I tell you....clueless!