day after thanksgiving

28 November 2003

i have a lot of thanking to do. i wanna thank mom and dad for sacrificing hella lots to come to the united states and give me mad opportunities. now, to repay them . . . i figured, i have to make the most of what is available to me and open other doors for me to go through and be successful in whatever i choose to do. i'm happy that i'm healthy, my parent's are healthy, the rest of my family are healthy, and my friends as well. we all seem to be blooming and blessed this year. it's great.

29 November 2003

i just came from seeing keith play at the battle of the bands finals. they were pretty good. i hope and pray that they win. you may be asking who keith is. well, he's my cousin's ex-bf who is now one of her best friends and consequently, an adopted family member for he's always attending our functions so he's been assimilated. hehehe!

i've been practicing my guitar lots this break and i can play round here by the counting crows. i can't seem to play the note for note while i sing since i have to concentrate on playing the guitar but i can sing when i strum. so i guess that's a big improvement. i could use some work on my transitions but that comes with time and practice...as well as the over concentration on playing notes. i was just telling my mom..it's like when i was learning to type. i can't do anything else but concentrate on typing but now i can do many things while i type...i can hold conversations and not look at the keyboard. so that's the proficiency that i need to work up to. it will be cool when i finally do it.

i found a chord that i like...Csus2. i wrote a song just around that. here's the lyrics:

i'm crying softly and i'm
defeated somehow
the world depresses me
if i let it be

i'm wondering if i ever
wake-up from shattering moments
just like these

tell me if it's just one way
to cope for all those crazy days
the silver lining i often see
am i diluting my self?
who am i kidding?

is there any good in
pretending everything is A-OK?

just open your eyes
remove those rose colored glasses
the smile on your face
perhaps the reverberating laughter
is enough to ease those crazy things away

tell me if it's just one way
to cope for all those crazy days
the silver lining i often see
am i diluting my self?
who am i kidding?
. . . but really, there's
beauty in everything we see. . .

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here's a half written song:

in your eyes i can see the tenderness meant for me
your smile so warm it radiates with love and honesty
i'm embraced by the feelings you project
romantic notions i tend to get when i see your face

i've been calling out your name
i've been calling out your name
in my dreams i see your arms around me
i can feel your touch and your lips upon me

with your touch you generate electricity
with that look upon your face, confirms your love for me
and i blush with every thought i have of you
as we swim beneath the sheets, i'm covered up in you

i've been calling out your name
i've been calling out your name
in my dreams i see your arms around me
i can feel your touch and your lips upon me
and yet as i open my eyes, you're not there

yes, it's a dream, a figment of my imagination
a desire, unreached, beyond the grasp of reality
it's a wish i made once upon a time
ungranted by my fairied mother
and it didn't end with happily ever after
but still. . .

i've been calling out your name
i've been calling out your name
in my dreams i see your arms around me
i can feel your touch and your lips upon me
as though they're real
and yet as i open my eyes, you're not there. . .