the virtue of patience

working with teenagers gives me a better perspective of what parents go through. this said, i have more respect for mine and for others as well. i cannot believe i was this egocentric when i was young. it's hard to believe but sometimes i can see it, hindsight and all. the me, me, me attitude just gives me a headache. it drains whatever energy you've regenerated the nite before or artificially with coffee. argh! they're fun though if you do not have anything to concentrate on like learning. oh well. but i do see the good in youth. the optimistic view of the world. the potential so vast that nothing is impossible. i have to remind myself these things sometimes. i cannot hinder my growth to the possibilities. i cannot doubt the endless potential of the void. this evening, i went to a hay ride with the youth ministry. and looking up the stars, it reminds of you the possibilities that are endless. that is reachable with hard work and determination. with being prepared when the door finally gets opened when you knock or your questions answered when you asked. because if you are not prepared, then if the opportunity comes --then it will be wasted. as the boy/girl scouts motto say: "always ready. always prepared." so shall i be to whatever opportunity is sent to me.

so i sang for jane today. i realized how half assed my musical training has been. techniques i learned has slipped away. not fully mind you but nonetheless, they're slipping. and so i am going to start singing lessons from jane. trained in NYC. it's great. i'm majorly psyched. guitar lessons did not pan out yesterday for my teacher i found out acquired pneumonia. which sucks. i even warned him to be extra careful so not to get his cough worse but .... it did. i pray that he'd get better though. anyway, i'm hopeful that i'd get better in my guitar playing with a lot of patience and practice. just for an update, my dream is still the dream and it's getting clearer everyday. granted it's not VERY clear but it's molding up. i have so many ideas. but i have to stop myself or at least pace myself so as not to set myself up for failure. as well as not driving myself nuts thinking of a goal that may not actually be for me. you know...sometimes, God wants us to do things other than what we want. we just need to be willing to follow along the journey. and my friend christina did remind me that even though we are on the right path, it does not mean there's no struggle or stumbling around that may occur. in fact, there may be more since there are forces out there who do not want you to achieve God's plan. and so i pray. i pray some more. and i ask others to pray for me. it's the best defense to the hurdles. it will make me stronger and hopefully the wiser with J.C. on my side, ya know?



the battle brewing
war is inevitable
defense depends on your understanding
on your belief of the impossible

we are called onto a crusade
we are asked to defend
without question we follow
to fight 'til the end

enemies unknown
sometimes invincible
other struggles are within
a feud with ourselves
which then compounds the battle
who will win no one can tell

views distorted
tired we stand
ready to fight again and again

the sword on our hands
courage flows through
we defend what we know
that is pure and true

the end is unknown to us
the winner undisclosed
yet our faith will lead us
to the battles' ending phase