new york, new york

i'm off to new york this weekend and should be good times. i'm driving up with my pal maya and i pray that we get there in one piece. not that i'm doubting my driving skills but it is early evening and by the middle of the drive, i would have been up for more than 12 hours. and so....me praying for safe journey.

so adrienne told me that i should not have said that i've never been left my backyard considering i did live in the Philippines for 15 years of my life. i have been to london, puerto rico, thailand, and various states in the US. in that respects, she's right. i have done some traveling. however, i never considered that adventure enough. maybe my expectations are high. i should really thank my lucky stars that i have had that opportunity.

in the rain you stood
drenched, i approach with morbid curiosity
a smile exchanged, a hand extended, hello
that was the extent of our rende vous

the unattended heart ready to burst
easily broken easily hurt
inexperienced, no way to rebound
from the sudden encounter with you

without invitation
you invaded my very person
snatching every innocence left in my
my mind swirling from the unknown territory

but you held my hand
tightly, you embrace
calming my every sense
ensuring me of your intent

emotions soared, heart exploded
energy flowed, eyes twinkle
stomach in knots
so this is how it feels to be in love
---------------------------------------------------
lost in thought
lost in motion
lost in action
this person, i am who is lost

i wander around
like a crazy fool
looking about me
confused and dizzy

vision blurry
hands shaky
eyes filled with tears
all due to fears

i walk on stumbling
down a road unknown, beckoning
not wanting help i forge on
dismissing everything

with tunnel vision i keep on going
pride at hand chin up high
even though fright is the feeling
trapped in my gut, for i am lost

i'd like to get to my destination
before the days end
i should just swallow my pride
and accept other's guide

i need to reach out
ask for a hand
else i'll stumble more
not ready, i cannot stand
and forever be lost
unable reach fate's fortune


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i feel inadequate
not up to par
the bar is raised
and i can't seem to reach that far

i jot down thoughts
random desires
of wishful thinking
and what's in my heart

i search for melodies
of hymns and tunes
the right kind of chords
for words i've crooned

i may celebrate an occasion
with fireworks and noise
but i still cannot find
the proper verse to be coined

frustrated, i wallow
i whine and bellow
i'd shit in my pants if i can
if only it will come together

and so i try and sit patiently here
pad and pen in hand
ready for the moment
i'll sit back, relax on the couch
until my muse comes to give me a hand